The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize