Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
