Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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