i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
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It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
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These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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