And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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