Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
