nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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