he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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