My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
