I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
