Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
