once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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