similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?