This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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