Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(308): View more from Nebraska

It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low

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(347): View more from New York

Moan for me like Helen Keller

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(512): View more from Texas

Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?

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(212): View more from New York

Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(503): View more from Oregon

Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.

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(301): View more from Maryland

I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS

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(812): View more from Indiana

I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.

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(727): View more from Florida

Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Why are you barefoot at a strip club?

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