Cold hands, warm shart.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
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i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
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WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.