This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
