guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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