She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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