they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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