In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize