I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
