so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
