so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
