That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I love you.
Bad choice
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
