my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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