Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
