Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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