I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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