you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
nutella sex= disaster
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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