I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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