Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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