it's not cheating when I paid for it
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
