I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
