Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
