thus making me awesome and them whores
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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