If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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