hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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