Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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