just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
