nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
