i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize