Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Watching her eat just hurts me
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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