im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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