What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
