I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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