Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
