Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
