I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize