I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
