He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I hate all girls vehemently.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
