I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
