The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
