My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
