I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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