Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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