if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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