oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Be still, my beating vagina.
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They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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