i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
