Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
