we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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