my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
