If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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