I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
