Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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