Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
