I hate your face
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
